"Show Me the Money... And I'll Show You Who You Really Are"

"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money."

- Anonymous

Cobie, in the UpOnly podcast episode where he was guest rather than host, once shared a poignant observation. Growing up in modest circumstances, he witnessed his parents navigate the stress and struggles that often accompany financial scarcity. It was a challenging childhood, marked by sacrifices and hard choices. However, when he grew older and found financial success, he was able to alleviate his family's financial burdens. As their circumstances changed, so too did the demeanor of his parents, revealing facets of their personalities he had never seen. This transformation led him to ponder: Did the money change who his parents were, or did it merely unveil their true characters? Was he “robbed” for years of witnessing who his parents truly were, because they were having a hard time making ends meet?

In this blog post, I’ll try to make my point that - in my opinion - there’s not a true self that emerges once financial difficulty is dealt with, but rather, our true self shows different facets of itself, or even its homogeneity, under different financial conditions, including abundance.

The Psychology of Scarcity

Scarcity does more than strain the wallet; it stretches the fabric of our being, testing the limits of our resilience and adaptability. Financial stress, a familiar companion to scarcity, often forces individuals into a corner of short-term thinking and survival tactics. Research, such as that highlighted by psychologists Eldar Shafir and Sendhil Mullainathan, suggests that scarcity consumes cognitive resources, leaving less room for patience, long-term planning, and empathy. However, these behaviors are not character transformations but adaptations—survival mechanisms that say more about human ingenuity under pressure than about core moral and ethical values.

Poverty does not uniformly mold individuals into a single narrative. Remarkably, even in the depths of hardship, there are those who, with little to call their own, extend hands of generosity. They share their meager resources, embodying a spirit of communal support and empathy that wealth cannot buy.
Conversely, there are instances where some individuals choose paths that lead away from empathy and community. In both scarcity and abundance, they prioritize self-interest, often at the expense of others, demonstrating that character flaws are not exclusive to any economic status. These choices reflect deeper issues within, suggesting that poverty and wealth merely amplify what is already present, rather than fundamentally altering one's character.

The Impact of Wealth

The introduction of wealth, especially when it comes suddenly and abundantly, as seen in the cryptocurrency market, serves as a powerful catalyst for revealing character. The rapid accumulation of wealth, without the tempering experience of earning it through prolonged effort or traditional means, can exacerbate tendencies towards arrogance and entitlement. Observations from the crypto boom suggest that individuals who find themselves suddenly wealthy, particularly those without prior experience of hard work or financial struggle, often exhibit behaviors that can be described as egregiously self-centered and disconnected from societal norms.

This phenomenon underscores the argument that wealth amplifies inherent traits, in this case, potentially unchecked arrogance or a lack of empathy, rather than altering a person's fundamental character. The lack of gradual adaptation to wealth can lead to a stark revelation of character flaws, which were perhaps previously moderated by societal interactions or the humility brought about by financial constraint.

Stress and Power Dynamics

The dynamics of financial extremes, whether poverty or wealth, introduce different types of stress and power into individuals' lives. While poverty tests the limits of resilience and survival, wealth tests the boundaries of moral and ethical judgment. The true nature of an individual is not changed by their financial status; rather, financial extremes provide the conditions under which their true character is more freely expressed. For some, this means the emergence of generosity and empathy; for others, especially those who achieve wealth rapidly and without precedent, it can mean a descent into behaviors marked by arrogance and detachment.

The mirror

Our interactions with money—earning it, spending it, lacking it, or having it in abundance—offer a mirror reflecting our deepest values, fears, and aspirations. The essence of who we are does not warp under financial pressure or prosperity; instead, these conditions highlight the contours of our character, making visible what was always present beneath the surface. This financial mirror does not distort; rather, it illuminates, casting light on the parts of ourselves that we might prefer to keep in the shadows or, conversely, that we wish to celebrate and share with the world.

In moments of scarcity, the fear of not having enough can either tighten its grip on our spirits, encouraging a retreat into self-preservation, or inspire a creative resilience, a testament to the human capacity to adapt and overcome. Similarly, abundance brings with it its own set of challenges and opportunities. The ease that comes with financial comfort can foster generosity and a desire to uplift others, or it can lead to complacency and a disconnect from the struggles that many continue to face.

The true essence of our character, therefore, is not so much about the financial state we find ourselves in but how we navigate the responsibilities and temptations that come with each turn of fortune. It is about the choices we make when we are at a crossroads, between self-interest and empathy, between isolation and community. These choices are the truest expression of our values, fears, and aspirations.

Thus, our financial journeys—whether they be marked by struggle, success, or something in between—serve as a canvas upon which our deepest selves are revealed. They offer not just a reflection but a call to action: to live intentionally, to choose wisely, and to act generously. In this way, we can ensure that what is reflected back at us is not just a testament to our financial acumen but, more importantly, to our character, integrity, and humanity.

For in the end, it is not the wealth we accumulate that defines us, but the wealth of character we demonstrate in both times of plenty and times of need.